Cornie

There I was minding my own business. Not bothering anyone and not being bothered by anyone. The world was doing its business and I was doing my mine. Peace all around. Then it happened. All of a sudden, completely out of the blue, I was completely blindsided. I wanted a corn dog.

No, I kid you not. I was astonished as you are.

I was at home. The TV was off. The radio wasn’t playing. I wasn’t on the Internet and I wasn’t reading a magazine. In other words, I was shut off from the external world of advertising. And I wanted a corn dog.

I don’t even like hot dogs! Let’s face it, hot dogs are regurgitated meat by-product bloated with preservatives and I’d just rather not eat them. I could probably name the few times I’ve had a hot dog in the past twenty years. But this afternoon I wanted a corn dog. And Reggie being silly just wasn’t going to fit the bill.

I don’t even know where one can buy a corn dog, other than a ball park or such. Are corn dogs available at the grocery store? I know they sell hot dogs…I see them every time I purchase liver sausage to hide Reggie’s pills so he’ll take them without a fight. But I don’t remember seeing corn dogs. There must be some restaurants, like a corner vendor, that sell corn dogs, but I don’t know of any. I suppose I could have made a corn dog, but that was too much effort and where would I get sticks?

It wouldn’t go away! All afternoon I kept thinking about corn dogs. I knew that somewhere out there, there was a corn dog waiting for me. If you are waiting to hear that I had a corn dog feast for dinner, you’ll be disappointed. I never found that corn dog calling my name…never even looked…and never ate a single dog.

Oh dear! Now I’m thinking about it again. Eek!